123

125.

128.

135.

or apparently i've been measuring my hips in the wrong place.  i knew 36 was too good to be true.  fuck me.

hips: 36.  at least we made it to a number that at some point in history was "ideal."  still so fat.... :(

140.

being home - i've gained 5 lbs.  everything i work so hard for.  wasted here.  it's impossible to go a day without eating here.  get me out.   please.

end of week goal: 140.  5lbs.  totally doable. *fingers crossed*

off to the gym.

how much can i lose in 29 days?

it's amazing how different 145 feels from 150.  that change in number makes SUCH a difference.

also - for my height - the difference in being "normal weight" and...not.

BMI=24.1 (gross)

gotta get to at least 20 asap.  lol.  but seriously.



wow need to stop posting and GO TO SLEEP.

i love my friends <3

20 more pounds until i feel attractive.  at least...that's the plan.  20lbs.

i can do it.  i can. 

125 is at least a number i don't feel awful about saying.  probably won't get there until mid summer :-/  and my goal to be 125 was in about a month.  idk if that's possible. june 1?  maybe?  maybe.

i love how i'm the only entry without replies on the community page....

145.

after 2 days of fasting.  (water fast).  it was tough.  felt pretty terrible.  faint/dizzy/ NO strength, more down than usual, etc.

so this morning - felt like SHIT.  couldn't get out of bed until 1pm. (had a 1:30 class)

so i had a bagel so i could like...walk.

just had an iced chai.

maybe ONE more liquid thing today.  


then restricting - LIQUIDS ONLY from now until Saturday.  formal is Saturday.  odds i'll make it to 140?   pretty slim.. ha. ironic.

<3

edit: not to mention the lack of date issue.  FML.

i WILL be 140 by friday. i WILL.

it's weird.  i want to recover - as in eat healthily and lose weight by exercising.  when i did that i was at my lowest weight.  now i'm just a cow.  so maybe that's the only way.  this ed brought me within 5lbs of that...but right now it's more like 35.  ugh.  hate myself  little bit....  a lot a bit.

33-28-37

149

:-/

tried to eat.  had a sandwich.  flipped out.  purged it.  i'm a fucking mess.  i fucking hate myself. 

so i think my UGW is 111.  that puts my BMI at 18.5 - the lowest i can be w/o being considered underweight.